maybe im wrong

Her breaking voice is bleeding love like a drunkard's broken bottles.

It's seeping into carpet fibers and poisoning your lungs.

You're breathing her and killing her, maybe just to hear her say
"I love you,"
Because she always says it
When you make her itch enough.


Amanda is dead. Its been a week.


Peace&Love

No need to say goodbye

you'll come back when its over


Snow day today. That means that I won't see you for 3 more days. I hope I can make it. You told me you hated me yestarday, you said you were just kidding but I couldn't help but feel a little cringe in my heart when you said it. Because I know in some little way that you do hate me. That you do hate me for everything I've become, and your finally realizing the reasons why we remain over.


My stomach hurts on this very snowy snow day. I've met some one new. His name is Nick. He well is a total sweetheart and calls me babe and hun. <3

The one thing I don't understand is why ever conversation I have with guys I don't know very well always turns onto a sexual related topic.

I hate that.

Peace&Love

maybe love is just for someone else

Tell me why?
Well dear I could answer but I just don't want to. Did you ever mean to let me go? Well hun if I answered that you would never wonder, you would never care. About me that is. Stop it, stop teasing me and just tell me. I can't



I love flirting with you, everyday, every moment. It just seems to make my day. AHHH testing today, four fucking hours long. Grrrr and you calling my name behind me the whole time did not help, AT ALL. lol
:)
I love you

you'll never be satisfied

You don't even know. You made me laugh today, did you really think that Tong is competition? You couldn't be more wrong. Me and Corey had a nice conversation, I think he is finally a bit closer with me. I hate the fact that you think its okay to flirt with her in front of me. I kind of want you to die. I don't feel good at the moment, my eyes hurt and my back is killing me. I also feel as if I'm being left behind. I don't understand. Explain it to me.


Peace&Love

and she said

There's just a way you said it yestarday that made me want to runaway.

Peace&Love

and then he said

I don't understand why they are being so cold to me. I feel like I'm becoming desprate to talk to them and its begining to bother me. I don't understand what I have to do to become who they want me to be. I miss them.

Peace&Love

your hair was long when we first met

Do you remember that? Its weird because now that I'm getting what I want which is your friendship, I'm not quite sure I want it. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it. My fingers are cold and I love the way you screamed my name in the hallway today.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

you promised you'd come back, but I have yet to see the one you used to be.
DEAR LORD JESUS!?!?! I want to know what you got me for Christmas, because you won't tell me. I'm still suprised you got me anything at all. I hope its not like...nice.
Whatever. I'm going to go clean. By the way I need a ciggarette majorly and I only have one left.

Peace&Love

you said move on

But where do I go?

What would you say if I told you I still loved you? That I can't stop thinking about you? Would you feel the same way or blow me off? You've become all I am. Its begining to be to much, I regret knowing you. If I had the choice I would have never meet you, but I don't so I have to live with the struggle you put me through.
I'm done ranting.

Peace&Love

Where were you?

Lost and insecure you found me you found me

You make me fall even more in love with you ever day. You look at me and all at once I become the most insecure person. Always worrying if I look good, or if I am acting the right way. This is begining to be to much, I know you care about me. I just wish that you would stop torturing me.

Where were you when everything was falling apart.

Peace&Love

It might Kill me

Is it wrong that I still care for you? That I still get butterflies and blush everytime you look at me? I don't know what to think anymore. I'm lost at the moment, in between a world of love and hate where half of me is hateing you and hating myself for hating you and the other is loving you and loving the fact that you love me to. I'm going out of my mind.

Peace&Love

small talk in my head

We had a conversation today. I almost hugged you, but stopped myself before I got the courage. Its a start. Maybe tomorrow I'll hug you, maybe not. I don't know, but what I do know is that I've made some dumb descions today.

Peace&Love

you'll learn to hate me

"Oh hello"
"hey sarah"
*smile*
"what are you doing for lunch?"
*pokes me*
"Poking you"
"aha you wish"
*pokes agian*
*I poke back*

This is a terrible game we play. Some days you hate me, you can't even look at me. Then some your all over me, hugging me and touching me. I swear to god this "lovebipolar" thing is not going to fly much longer.

Overall I had a good day.

Peace&Love

Slow Down

I need alittle time to see what your made of.:)

today was better

Peace&Love

I know in my heart its not you

:)
I hate how I still love you.
Thank you for making me smile today, though I do hate it when you poke me. Today was crap and you and kia made it so much better. I love you

I've got nothing for you to gain

I don't know what I want. First I'm hurting for you, then I'm hating you, then I'm longing for you yet again. NO! I'm done I fucking hate all of this that your putting me through. Stop watching me walk away, stop undressing me with your eyes, stop missing, stop touching me, stop making me love you.
I may not know who I am, who I will be, or what I want out of my life but I know, I know


I don't want you

I want to believe in more than you and me

all i can do is keep breathing

I hurt, so much. Its like a knife in my stomach. Why does this bother me so? Why do I continue to hurt myself like this? Who does he think he is?

I'm running and running, circles in my mind. Searching for the words, the moments I'll never find. You held my hand as I fell to the ground, clawing and scratching to find a way out. Out of your heart, out of your mind. Out onto the edge and off. To feel the wind as if I'm flying.
save me