pornstars on the board

Its a small crime, with big consequences.


I am now coming to the end of my 3rd month, and I'm even more terrified now than I ever was. I just want this whole thing to be over. If i had a choice i would lose this baby, and go on with my life...without him....




Peace&Love

Gravity Fighter

I am happy.
Peace&Love

I'll be gone

Forever she will wait for him.

He said so many sweet things last night. It made me feel so good. And even though he hurt me things are good with us.


Peace&Love

Liar and a theif

I flirt and bat my lashes at him even though the truth is imminent. I feel horrid about it and yet i still cant stop.


Peace&Love

please dont lose hold

I have come to block.

a kiss for tomorrow

Look the other way,
Don't think just do it.
Make sure to close your eyes,
Before it takes you in.
Every pain you've ever had,
All the words that broke you down.
Memories that span a lifetime,
Seem so small right now.
Close your eyes and turn your head,
Remember a song you hate.
Do it now while you have the chance.
Just turn your head away.
Don't look back like you've never,
Seen it happen a million times before,
Enough times to close your eyes,
And see it anyway.

She smiles.

forget me not

I fear I've lost him...and i dont think i can get him back. Maybe its for the best. I mean I'm starting a new school in the fall and he is going to find someone different. Someone better.
There is no denying this.

We have come to an end

Peace&Love

if tomorrow never comes

I'm losing her. I'm losing him. I'm losing me.

I don't know what to do. Everything is going in the shitter and I really don't want to be alive.

keep it going louder

I'm happy with who I am.
I am in a great relationship and have a bright future ahead of me.
I love life at the moment.

Peace&Love

you had me at hello

I have come to accept the fact that I need you finally. Sitting here at this worn and old computer this thought has popped into my head, one that hasn't been there in a while. Forever. I'm thinking of forever for once and again. Its crazy that for so long i was so desperate for love and the moment i stopped looking for love you showed up in my life. You were right there in front of me, right were I couldn't see you. This post is not dedicated to our love but merely it being found and even in this moment the fact that I know you will always love me, and I you. I am forever grateful for that.
Peace&Love

you can't read my poker face

Its back. That same desperate feeling of needing you to be happy.
This is not okay

and now we sing of broken things

9 days.
10 nights.
1 girls story.
I was lost for so long but now I relized that everything will be okay. I will be okay. I just need to keep trying. I wish I could explain my actions but some of them are even unknown to me.


Peace&Love

Who do you think you are?

Honestly I can't seem to put my thumb on what is keeping me so attached here....but I wouldn't give it up for the world.
I've never loved you more

Peace&Love

I'm gathering up these nights

I don't think you understand that I wouldn't know what to do without you. If you ever left me I would be lost. I hate that. I've never wanted to be with someone this much, I've never given myself fully to anyone. Until you. Funny thing is I think I'm completley fine with it.


Peace&Love

Your as real on the outside

How do I tell him? How do I force the words to be formed in a mouth that just doesn't want to break his heart? I promised I would never leave him, thats one promise I'm going to keep. Its funny to look back on but, when we first began I worried about me becoming to dependent on you, and as it turns out your the one who has become needy. I never knew someone could love me the way that you did, the way you still do. I never thought I would be anything but alone. I painted this picture that I would learn to live for myself, and myself only. Learn to live without having to worry about those well known goodbyes, those cold and lonely nights spent wishing for another chance. All the feelings I expected to have if I ever foolishly gave my heart away. With you its different. With you I'm not just a peice of meat, I'm not just a toy. I am a person. A human being. Honestly it scares the shit out of me, the fact that you have the power to crush my entire world with a few misunderstood words. So with that I give my trust to you, I give my life to you. Because you, Kieran James Kremer, gave me this life. You made me realize I deserve happiness. I will always love you no matter what happens between us. I will always be here

Peace&Love

I'm not scared

I will be happy.
I will fix this.
End of Story.


Peace&Love

Good looks, Bad intentions

I miss him. So very much. My parents don't even understand. I just want to be with him forever. He seems to be the only thing that is keeping me grounded right now. I love him. And I'm beging to wonder if he still loves me....



Peace&Love

Are you really here?

The distant causes only silence.
I can't take this anymore


Peace&Love

Whats it going to take?

I believe in change. I believe I've changed. I don't like change.


Peace&Love

I have to confess

I haven't updated in forever it seems...
Things have been very hectic. Apart from the fact that me and kierans realtionship was coming to an end when we had only begun to start, everything has been...well I can't say good but okay. I worked things out with Kieran of course. Things like that always work out. But now I feel like a failure to everybody, but most of all myself. I hate it. I'm happy when I'm with him, and when I'm with my friends but I hate that I rely on them for my happiness. This will never end well


Peace&Love

pushing and pulling me down

we did it

I feel terrible. It wasn't bad, he wasn't bad. I just didn't expect it to be like that. Its not how I pictured it. Its wasn't how I wanted it.


Peace&Love

But my heart.

I'm seeing him again today. I'm really nervous.



Peace&Love

I don't know if I should stay

He wants me to come over tomorrow. I hope I can. I've been really sick lately, because I've recently stop smoking. I feel like shit and he seems to make it better.


I love him.
Peace&Love

We don't have to look back now

I love him
I love him not.
I love him.
I love him not.
God I need a little help, just a hint of some kind. His phone is discontected at the moment, I don't know what this means. I haven't talked to him all day except for a few waves and hellos before he went to ISD. I just hope that not having my phone is going to end this. Because this seems to be all thats making me happy these days.

Peace&Love

Temptation

I never knew going slow could be this hard.

I miss him already and its only been a few hours. I don't have my phone, my mom is pmsing. Stupid #%$!@*. I'm so mad. I took a new picture today. I really like it. I'm actually tired tonight. No sex.

Peace&Love

don't look so blue

trying to forget love cause loves forgotten me
you've never been so used
my little decoy.

I miss her.
I miss him.
I love him.
Lovelovelovelovelovelove.
In his arms I forget for a minute. I forget everything. When he kisses me, all is well. His lips on mine, the way his arms wrap around me. Its perfect.


This will not end well I fear.

Peace&Love